I like this one

                                .     .
                               (>\---/<)
      *** HOST ***             ,'     `.
   this server tries to have  /  q   p  \  
    authorized logins only   (  >(_Y_)<  )   for performance reason 
                              >-' `-' `-<-.    logs are written to 
                             /  _.== ,=.,- \        /dev/null
                            /,    )`  '(    )  
                           ; `._.'      `--<
                          :     \        |  )   MAYBE: i have a centralized
                          \      )       ;_/     syslog solution, which is 
                           `._ _/_  ___.'-\\\ dedicated and has IDS alerting
                              `--\\\               ... maybe!